A  young  boy to his father
 =where  were  you  born , -dad?
father =  Boston .
" Mom ,you were born where? '
Mother = Florida
Son = where was  I  born, then ?
Father=Los Angeles

=" So  strange ! how we met together , dad'
The father looked non-plus ed !
[Read  somewhere long back ]

MEDICAL  HELP  &  UTILITIES  FOR POLITICIANS____________________________

Mild  Heart attacks   >  Escape route   or push-out  root  from power 
                                     when  conditions  worsens  for the top Leaders.
Chest Pain -> When non-Bailable warrants  are on  the line of issue 
                     on  Corruption charges against  big Politicians.
ICU  ---------> If  ARREST  warrants are impending   regarding big 
                       Scams  r.g CW G or  2G -games or Cash -for - vote etc


_______________________________________


**** And GOD  then  said  -- ' Let there  be 5-star  DI HAR   JAIL  for ARRESTED   POLITICIANS , M.P-s  and MINISTERS  for the sake of their comfort.

Now about  Slap or slaps ; 
1. I think a slap is  not  a case of violence. In childhood (1930s) my mother slapped  me  quite often and in my opinion , I deserved it and it helped me for my progress.
II. When a political leader or Minister slaps a man or a lady ( e.g in UP , India) it is neither violence  nor told as 'great News' for MEDIA. But when a Commoner slaps a  grade  I Cabinet Minister, it becomes great news  and  media  makes Chi ken-tandoori out of it and the news is cooked , recooked   and made  very spicy and  there is great sale and profit.
 But when  Ladies or even teachers  are assaulted  in full public view (Punjab) , the PARLIAMENT  do not find it worth mentioning , leave apart, raising voices any time..
      So  CONSTITUTIONAL  AMENDMENT should be introduced in Parliament   to  make   slapping  Corrupt Politicians / ministers and declaring it 'Non-cognizable , non-offensive behavior.

        MODEN  RHYME


One slap or two ; buckle my shoe
three  or four; no - no and no more
five and six ; do not take risk
seven and eight;  speak  out straight
Nine and ten  ; hell   for you   or  Heaven ?

একে  বাপ   তার  উপর  বয়সে   বড়  !
_______________________


 প্রায়  একই  বয়সের    ১৮ -১৯  বছরের  চার-পাচটা   ছেলে-বন্ধু   অন্য  পাড়ার  রাস্তার  মোড়ে  দাড়িয়ে  আড্ডা  মারছিল | 
হঠাত  একজান  বয়স্ক  ভদ্রলোক  সেখানে  হাজির|  কিছু  কথা -বার্তার  পর হঠাত ভদ্রলোক  একটি   ছেলে কে   খুব বকে ঝকে  গট-গট করে চলে গেলেন !
 বন্ধুদের মধ্যে একজান   শেষে  না  বলে  পারলনা :
=  এত  বকলেন  তোকে , তুই  শালা  কিছু   উত্তর  দিতে  পারলিনা ?
একটু  চুপ   থেকে  ছেলেটা   বলল :
=  কি  বলব  বল  ? ------  একে  বাপ !   ---তার  উপরে   বয়সে  বড় !

Irish  Joke:
 Doctor to the elderly  patient in a  Injury -Clinic:
= Well sir, how it happened happend ?
Patient = I fell down on the floor .
doc , = so it was the fall that broke your---
 = no  Doc  ! not the fall  ; --but the stop that did it.
The smiled back at the patient and looked , -'defeated' !

How Lucky !( gathered story)


In a Clinic, where patients were waiting, a child to his father ;
=  dad, what the patient is suffering from?
= Diabetes.
= what is diabetes dad ?
 = he produces lot of  sugar in his  blood .
The boy   looked at he patient , walking out and then turned to his father to wonder;
= how lucky he is dad !
The father turned to his son  to say;
=not now, son ! -keep that candy back in pocket.This is a clinic , son !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pak wife makes korma using husband

==========================================================================

'KIM AA-KORMA'  -Affair !  ,THE  FINAL   FINISH  IN MARITA L   LIFE  AND   LOVE  ! !

WHAT A  FINAL-FINISH  !   

Hitchcock or , even, Shakespeare or Sophocles  would have loved to copy it for their Plays !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Press Trust of India, Updated: November 26, 2011 09:30 IST

G.B.S - WAY

George Bernard Shaw, in later lfe , was ailing and his personal Physician reguarly visited him and advised in somanyways , -how to keep one-self fit
and live long.
Quite long after, the Physician died and in the Funeral ,G.B.S was requested to say something and he said: ---' Doc, I practised your advice-- but you did not follow your own. Well , I will meet you later, sometime."{ narrated from memory of early reading)
-------------------------------------------------------
The other version maybe: The physician of G.B.S predicted that he had 5 yrs life to ive. and after fiveyears , G.B.S attended the physician and said --' Doc, sorry I could not honour your 'fore-cast'.

When POISON is MEDICINE OR Vice-verca

while a medical student in 1959s , we were taught[Pharmacology] that 'the difference between medicine and poison was, sometimes in degrees only e.g Mprphine' . Also I wrote a short story (on that basis) that a poor man suffering from poverty and many dieases decided to end his ife . he went to a store and bought a botte of poison with label (100% pure) and written on it that "if taken orally, a person would die in an hour (garaunteed),
The man bought it and drank it whole. After six hours , it was found that , he not only failed to die but was CURED of all his Diseases in a month.
The man sued the shop -keeper and it was proved that the POISON was adulterated and worked like Medicine. ( the story--abridged ).

The spurious drugs flooding the market, today, may work in the similar way, you never know !

DIVINE DISPOSAL

AND THUS SAID GOD :

"Let there be 5-Star hospitals and ICU-s for very Rich & Corrupt POLITICIANS to escape 'QUICK CATCH' and also A-C fitted Jail of good standard for COMFORTABLE PUNIISHMENT to GUILTY POLITICIANS".

And there they were --READY to RECEIVE !!

Position Vs Proposition

( true siory )
It was between 1980 -- 82
A CGHS (central govt Health Scheme) DIpensary on wellesly road ( vip Area).
Came a newy elected MP (won't tell the State nor his sur name.)
He came with his son about ten yrs of age.
The Doctor eaxmined the boy thoroughly , suspected some affected -heart , wanted an excercise test and told the boy to do some simple 'sit-down and up' 5 -10 times .Before the boy finished 2 , the father stopped him and challenged the Doctor in harsh words
= " you see, the boy is weak !you want to kill him ?
= " No sir" -- the Dr. said --' wanted to examine the heart after this excerciise to check the heart again."
" excercise ! is it a ha-du-du Court and why?' ---came the sharp challenge.
" it is necesary'' he was defensive.
" if it is necessary do it yorself for him and then can examine him. Know ?-- he is an MP's Son ?
The Doctor knew it very well....he joned the job frsh . So ! he had do keep the MP pleased and obeyed him.

STATISTICS & LIFE

" Doctor, what my chnce of your operation on me to be successfu ? "
Doc --- Cent Percent.
= but you tod yesterday that 9 out of ten dies ?
= yes .
=Then ?
= Nine have already died so---
the patient jumpt out of the opration tabe and fled.

THE TOPPERS

Abraham Linccoln was one day polishing his shoes himsef while on President's chair. There came one (senator or high official, I don't remember as read long back ).

He wanted to impress the President and said --'Sir you are yourself polishing your shoe'!
Lincoln turned to him while still polishing, added -'Yes I do ; but whose shoe you polish , sir ?
Guess, how the admirer looked,on the spot !
_______________________________________-----------
Winston Churchill while in Parliament , used to stand at the entrance-door and scan the faces of Ladies(parliamentarians) and write someththing on his note -pad.
A friend -parliamenterian one day teased him -- 'with what pretence are you standing at the door and looking at ladies?'
Chrchil posed serious and replied - 'I was recording (after 'Helen of Troy),how many ships could each face sink '.
And what is the result ? // Churchil reported --'None more than 10o'.
** Helen's record was 1000 ships .

Mr. Hanuman Babu Lost His Other Tail !

I was betwwen 10 to 12 yrs of age . Born and living the village life. It was PUJA Time( Pre-autumn Festival in Benga(1930 -40). The folk-theatre group came to perform RAM-JATRA.. They were about 15 in number and came on two boats.---The befor the Play , in the evening, my auntie (Pisi-ma) took me to the place where they put up the tent.-----and there was great commotion..
The Hanuman Babu (the great Monkey of prince Rma on exile--- Usaually is adressed by the name of the role they are given) came rushing with a swinging hurricane lamp and reported to the head of the troupe ; Sir, I new 2nd big tail is missing'||--- Where did you keep it " ---the manager asked asked . ||' I kept it hanging " the reply ||' Thundered the manager --- ' Is the tial ever made to be kepit hanging?|| Sir I just was checking, if the new tail fits me ---'|| -----Sharp came the rebuke --'' have you ever seen a Hanuman to whom a tail does not fitt --- ? Any way ! borrow a tail from SUGREEB _Babu(another character) for to morrow , if you don't find it.-- Now get off .'----

Hanuman-babu almust jumped out! [ from child hood memory ]

BALANCE-SHEET OF LORDS

The gentle man with fishing -rod , while fishing , cursed his God for missing the fish on the hook.
The escaping fish thanked it's lord for new lease of life.!
Now the two 'Lords' were , together, drawing their balance -sheet of gain and loss!

The Epic Re-written on the STAGE !

The Epic (RAMAYANA)had to be scripted anew and in the reverse because Ravana refused to be killed by Sri RAM.
_________________________________________
In my child hood life and on village back-drop, there was an open -Air play during Puja time( post monsoon and pre Autumn Festive-time. ;;; And the Demon RAVANA refused to die in the hands of Ramchandra while play was at its climax.
The reason was --the previous day Ramachandra , the rich villager had beaten up Ravana of the Play ,during the quarrel over a coconut tree that was on the common boundary of both.
Ramchandra was walthy and got the hero's role for his big subscription and the stout neighbour Ravana ,getting thrashed, promised to his wife to take revenge on the stage'
And so --- neither the prompter's shouting , nor Directors order nor Manager's pleading could put the Epic as was written. and Ravana went on fighting Rama until Ramchandra ran out of the STAGE.
But villagers , all , enjoyed the re-scripted EPIC most!

Failures - the Pillars of Success

In my boyhood, in rural set up, my friend Durga came back home singing. the mother asked -'what is the result in final exam'. Durga replied fast -'failed'.
His mother was angry - " you can never pass. This -the second time you failed'
Durga felt least perturbed and replied - 'Maa , know what Swamiji told " Failures are the pillars of success"-- 'and four pillars are needed for the roof'
The mother stood up angry and shouted - 'W-h-a-t !'....Durga sat down joyous for his meal.
======================================================

HUMOUR and JOKES (Original & as told )

Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Humour The Best Medicine

When in Medical college (1949-54) this Joke - was told by a student in our Annual funcion by a senior student :
A boy and a girl were whispering near the 'Lift' and were a bit too close . There . sharp came the professor for the lift found both of them ,-asked -'what are you doing in this corner?'....."Nothing Sir" - came the duet -reply .
Next day all students saw a 'NOTICE' hanging there thus : " If you have 'NOTHING ' to do --- then, don't do it here "
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Irish Joke that I still remember :
The Orthopedic Surgeon asked the Patient -" You Say --that 'fall' broke your legs ?'
Pat - came the denial -' No Doctor , not that fall ,--- but the stop'.
____________________________________________
JOKE of 'KUTTIS' of DHAKA (East Bengal -then[1940s] ):
A man was was coming towards another wearing his Benyan( genji) with back-side front ;
The other one asked - ' Sir, are you coming or going "
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Sunday, August 28, 2011
HUMOUR THE BEST MEDICINE

1. A Bengali schcolar rooted stricty to his own Culture got up on a Rickshaw and told - " Vishwa -Vidyalaey Chalo'. The man did not move but looked on askant. The gentleman again told him -''chalo Bishwa Bidyalayey".... The Rikswa puller suddenly aked - Kothai Jaaben University ? . Professor told - Ha (yes) . The rickshwa -wala challenged - 'Taa Sozaa Bolben -to University . Eng-raz-itey bolley bujhi ki-korey?The Scholar's Jaw drooped - non -plus-ed!
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2. the king declared - if anyone can convince him that 2+2 equals 4, he will give him half King-dom .The queen furiously shouted -" Are you Mad or fool ? Even a school-boy will make you convinced . You will lose haf of your kingdom .
The king smiled and replied; - Queen, if I am dermined not to be convinced, -who can convince me ?
Now the Queen was convinced.
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Two thieves were on the mission of stealing at mid night. at the end of a dark lane they found a rich-man's house dark and half open .
One suggested -'Let us get in'. ...The other refused and replied -'Have you lost self-respect! Why should we enter when there is no lock to break ?
( two as i heard ; one my own idea ; guess which ones?)
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